Empowering myself

Lately, I have been thinking about my life. The events that have occured that have affected me both in positive and negative ways and most importantly the events that have helped to create my current situation and feelings. Carrie Bradshaw once wondered: When it comes to life and love, why do we believe our worst reviews?

It seems obvious to me that in order to get my life back on track I must empower myself! I must regain my strengths, love myself and believe in myself so that I can move on from everything that has kept me from reaching my potential and corroded my self love. I have to believe the good things I do know about myself and let go of my mistakes and other people's judgements of who they think I am. I must learn from my past but by no means allow it to withhold me from my future! I have to come to terms with different things and today I am making a pledge to tackle those things one by one and heal.

Its always easier to look in the mirror and see the outside staring back at us...and I have let myself go. I think my weight gain is a reflection of the turmoils inside of me...of the comforts I have seeked outside for the drowning helplessness I have felt inside. I know that loosing the weight is the most obvious first step in this journey and I also know, that restraining from my food comforts in order to reach that goal will most likely reveal other more important issues that most be dealt with. It will be an interesting journey...but I believe in myself and I trust that in the end this process will be worthwhile and empowering! :)

Learning about Acceptance

The reason why I started this blog in the first place was to help me move on from a very difficult break up and to embark in a re-discovering of the things I perceive to have lost or forgotten about myself through out the years. I loved him very much...but I am an honest with you and with myself I still love him and miss him dearly every single day. Its been exactly 7 months and 9 days since I broke up with him and I am still not over him...I still struggle with accepting the end of the relationship and the feelings that come from knowing that I just made official something that was broken months before. I still struggle with the feeling of emotional abandonment I felt during the relationship and with the sense of loss that lingers to this day. I still wonder if he thinks of me, if he misses me, if our paths will cross again some day. We both needed to deal with things and neither of us knew how to deal with our individual pasts and the challenges that came in our present in a mature and healthy way...but we did love each other and as for me I still do. Acceptance is defined in a web dictionary as the mental attitude that something is believable and should be accepted as true...I still have a hard time believing its over, but hopefully I will get there at some point...sooner rather than later. I still hope, I still dream of him and us, I still wish for the cosmic order to re-arrange what has been disordered and bring us back together with our lessons learned and our love renewed....I also feel silly for feeling this way. Yup! Nobody said this road would be easy, but for good or for bad is the one that I have embarked on...I just hope everything is worth it in the end...that lessons are learned and remembered and that I grow through this process the way it was meant to occur. So this blog will continue to be a journal, a road map of this process towards my happiness, my peace of mind, my self love and acceptance. Any suggestions?

Have a lovely day!